Alphabetical Advice

This was from a prompt to write a piece of advice for every letter of the alphabet. It was surprisingly easy. Of course, not all advice is suited for every situation! But I would guess that I have done most of these at some time. As far as killing my enemies, it’s been insects and woodchucks. Woodchucks are definitely my enemies!

After you have an epiphany, stop to make an aphorism.

Bring a cake when you go to a funeral.

Create something new every day!

Do the right thing!

Every deed requires its own remedy.

Fuck off!

Good people can still act like assholes, and it’s ok to demonstrate that for the benefit of the narrow minded.

Have a happy day!

Into every act, put intention.

Join at least five clubs, especially if you are anti-social.

Kill your enemies. Go ahead. Do it. It will give you karmic experience.

Let the other people worry about it.

Mean what you say and say what you mean.

Never shed a tear for a fascist.

Open the door to your heart.

Pop your corn in an air popper.

Quell your fears.

Rest in peace.

Step aside.

Top it off.

Uncover your light.

Vindicate yourself.

Wait for the right time.

X-ray your castings.

Yell when you need help.

Zip your lips.

 

To quote Janice Joplin…..that was my statement of great social import! 🙂

Super Flash Fiction

Before the end of the news broadcast, Sophia sat calmly on the couch. She rolled the tent peg loosely in her hand. As the anchor started to sign off, Sophia’s glazed eyes regained focus. “I warned him,” she thought. The meticulously detailed plan sprang into life before her.

Her grip tightened on the tent peg.

“The death will be gruesome,” she told her pet goldfish.

“After this, they will allow knives again,” Goldie answered.

THE END

 

I combined prompts from two writing exercises: “murder by tent peg,” and “before, after.” The rest of my writings from this morning were, as we say, “the compost from which the beautiful flowers of our writing might bloom.” This idea of being willing to write “compost” comes from famous writing guru Natalie Goldberg.